Sunday, July 5, 2009


I am a waitress at a bar a server at a restaurant (p.s. I still cannot spell restaurant w/o spell check but who cares I don't get paid to be Webster!) Anywho I see so much of the craziest shit i figured it was time to create a blog dedicated to my experience. First off, let's get one thing straight: I am damn good at both my jobs. I bust my ass on a pretty semi basis. No this is not just some stupid server complaining about stupid people. These are going to be common sense complaints. Hold on, gotta rinse my face mask off. Alright back, and for the record being pretty is 1/2 the job b/c 1/2 of my customers are male which means my tip is partially based on how my face looks.

I am going to start w/ my weekly post of:

Don't say I didn't warn you...

1. If you do not have money to tip your server you cannot afford to hang out. flat out.
2. Tip 20%. period.
3. Yes minorities as soon as you walk in the door we judge you. I expect to get a blk couple strawberry lemonade, indians/middle easterns water no ice, asians one specialty drink and extra straws. Its not cool so surpass the norm or accept it.
4. If you are a douche to your server...beware, its possible that you are what you eat.
5. If I bring you a beer and you don't tip I will be back to offer to get you another one. fyi a little visine in your beer will give you immediate diarrhea...that's all I'm saying.
6. If you plan on chatting in my section hrs after you eat...plan on tipping for the tables I could've had while you were pretending to be in your local coffee shop.
7. Being nice is not a tip. Jointly tipping 20% is not an acceptable reason to be an ass.
8. The server is not the chef, typically if your food is not on your table it hasn't come up yet, don't be a fucking nuisance.
9. Don't tell me you are ready to order if in fact you are not. I got better shit to do than stand by your side as you read.
10. And lastly, for today at least, ORDER ALL FUCKING READY! you may converse while waiting on your food to arrive.

So weekly I am going to do 10 of those....and yes I have that many in store. And remember I make 2.65 p/hr love ya!

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