Monday, July 13, 2009

Post #2 (I'm not that creative this morn)

Went back to work after a week off...blase splee same shit diff uniform...enjoy

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

1. Wanna share a salad? Split one pizza between the 5 of you? That's fine, all the while I am looking at you looking hungry.

2. 6 refills of diet pepsi equals about 41/2 regular pepsis you fat piece of shit.

3. Once again the server is not the chef...hate your food? Complain to the kitchen....& then tip the SERVER 20%

4. Whoa whoa whoa bitch! How dare you jump hurdles to "I got the check" & tip a weak ass 10%. If I see you on the street that's your ass.

5. What the hell is so impressive about a seat by a window? Bitch this isn't an airplane.

6. So you don't want a table, you hate sitting at the bar, you'd rather have a booth. You don't want a booth by the bathroom or the kitchen or children or the door. WE ONLY HAVE 14 BOOTHS IN THIS JOINT! Take your shit togo.

7. hmmm you can't taste the liquor? Quit being a cheap well liq ordering whore. Then you'd taste the liquor.


9. I've adapted this new method of parenting for parents with kids who run wild. I trip your children on purpose.

10. Wtf does little Johnny want to eat b/c him being a little shy is wasting my fucking time.

P.S. I make $2.65 p/hr love u all

Sunday, July 5, 2009


I am a waitress at a bar a server at a restaurant (p.s. I still cannot spell restaurant w/o spell check but who cares I don't get paid to be Webster!) Anywho I see so much of the craziest shit i figured it was time to create a blog dedicated to my experience. First off, let's get one thing straight: I am damn good at both my jobs. I bust my ass on a pretty semi basis. No this is not just some stupid server complaining about stupid people. These are going to be common sense complaints. Hold on, gotta rinse my face mask off. Alright back, and for the record being pretty is 1/2 the job b/c 1/2 of my customers are male which means my tip is partially based on how my face looks.

I am going to start w/ my weekly post of:

Don't say I didn't warn you...

1. If you do not have money to tip your server you cannot afford to hang out. flat out.
2. Tip 20%. period.
3. Yes minorities as soon as you walk in the door we judge you. I expect to get a blk couple strawberry lemonade, indians/middle easterns water no ice, asians one specialty drink and extra straws. Its not cool so surpass the norm or accept it.
4. If you are a douche to your server...beware, its possible that you are what you eat.
5. If I bring you a beer and you don't tip I will be back to offer to get you another one. fyi a little visine in your beer will give you immediate diarrhea...that's all I'm saying.
6. If you plan on chatting in my section hrs after you eat...plan on tipping for the tables I could've had while you were pretending to be in your local coffee shop.
7. Being nice is not a tip. Jointly tipping 20% is not an acceptable reason to be an ass.
8. The server is not the chef, typically if your food is not on your table it hasn't come up yet, don't be a fucking nuisance.
9. Don't tell me you are ready to order if in fact you are not. I got better shit to do than stand by your side as you read.
10. And lastly, for today at least, ORDER ALL FUCKING READY! you may converse while waiting on your food to arrive.

So weekly I am going to do 10 of those....and yes I have that many in store. And remember I make 2.65 p/hr love ya!